If you had told me that quarantine was going to bring THIS much of past programming up, I’d have laughed:
There’s no way.
It’s not that different than before.
We’re just together more.
At the beginning of this Jazzy and I said that quarantine would either make or break us. 👯♀️ You think I’m joking, but I’m not.
In four years we’ve never spent this much time together. We are two completely different humans who have very different ways of doing things, different senses of humor and different love languages ...(And did I mention we both like to be right?!).
While we have a good handle on what is our own responsibility and what requires joint effort, when the world around us is struggling to find certainty, it is hard to manage our own nervous system’s activation … and still be a loving partner.
We all know I talk at length about how my relationships are my biggest teachers and the places where I get my biggest lessons. There’s something about reprogramming past experiences and understanding another’s past experiences that requires so.much.energy.and.attention.
These last months have been no different.
Every day, and especially when you’re cooped up with another human, it takes work to...
⚔️ not personalize another’s mood
⚔️ not look to others to fill our needs
⚔️ not abandon our self or our dreams
Don’t get me wrong, about once a month I have a “WHAT THE EFF AM I DOING” moment.
...And then about a week later (after moon time Hahahaha) I remember:
👉🏿👉🏽👉🏻 Partnership, relationship, marriage isn’t easy when you are doing the GOOD WORK OF GROWING UP.
Growing up means:
💕 knowing how to take care of your own self and emotions
💕 communicating your needs without expectation
💕 taking responsibility of your own experience and how you show up
THE VERDICT: quarantine has not broken us. The challenges have been opportunities for self reflection, personal growth, and relationship bonding.
They’ve also been opportunities to consider HOW THE HECK AM I SHOWING UP? And to push towards being the human I want to be without expectations.
Expectations of others are just an excuse to not look at yourself.
How do you want to show up in your life..regardless of what any other human is doing or showing up as. << that’s the REAL growing up!
If you’ve been thinking that something needs to shift—that you need more time, more energy, more resources, this is IT. Implement easy self care today!